Dealing with Life

[Bingo]

It was a great Christmas visit with family and friends. Fun, but I am really pooped. Realizing this is probably the last of just this kind of Christmas holiday get together makes it a bit more bittersweet. #2 struggles with the demands of her mil to dance Molly in front of different relative groups. She set up Christmas 'dinners' for last Sunday, two on Thursday and one for last night. Molly was so exhausted she fell asleep on my basement floor about 4:30 and slept until 7:30. #2's mil was very upset they weren't at her sister's party. Next year they are going to go to sil's parents and here both on Christmas Eve & have open house at home on Christmas Day so any and all relatives can drop by to say hello & see Molly. While I understand completely, having gone thru the same thing years ago, I will miss being the Christmas "HUB".

#1 is here every other Christmas & won't be at our house next year. My mother has so much trouble with the stairs since all the bedrooms are on the second floor & the food/fireplace/game playing is in the basement. At 83 this year, I don't know if she will be able to manuever the stairs at all next Christmas. Because mother was here for Christmas, my sister & her family joined us at our house. That rarely ever happens as they have so many places to go while they are in town for the holidays. My bil's family were here Christmas Eve and they usually come only when #1 is here at Christmas. One of their kids has graduated college and another one is a sophomore in college, they too will be scattering.

While it was a lot of work, decorating, cooking, shopping, wrapping, cleaning, and all that goes along with having family staying four or five days or more, next year I will be weepy because no one will be coming to stay over the Christmas holidays.L

[SpiritMan]

Life always throws these kinds of crossroads onto our path. Sometimes they are ways we can choose and sometimes they are for us to accept. I've spent the last two decades trying to create the kind of Christmas in my memories. I have yet to succeed. 

[Guardian Angel]

Since the late 70's I have dreamed of a family Christmas.  Shawn came along and I was able to enjoy and make even more blessed memories but once he grew up I was again left with the longing that only Christmas's without family evokes.  To say that I have accepted it would be a lie, but I do know that no one can take those memories from me and I'll cherish them for the rest of the time I have here on this earth.

[Pat Testa]

I also cherish the memories and the feelings of Christmas's past...now, I have to look in the eyes of a small child to find it again... Children now...lose the innocence and wonder at a very early age...too much exposure to TV and commercialized sales that start waaaaay before the season. It's so overdone that the excitement dims as the months go by...

I am beginning to "let go" of the past...because if I don't...I'll have problems making a new future for myself. I'm giving away parts of the past and dealing with all of the emotions connected to them. I know I will probably spend what years I have left, basically, alone. My kids have their own lives and their own families and although I understand that I am a part of that...I don't want to be the fifth wheel. So, in dealing with all of the death that I have in the past few years...I think it has helped me deal with my Life.
Does this make sense to anyone but me???

[Bingo]

If it isn't one thing, it really is another.

Our prescription carrier changes Jan 1. More importantly,  this means our current prescription carrier ENDs Dec 31.  I emailed our HR rep this morning and said my BP med needs refilled 1/2/10. Whatz up?  She says she is trying to find out.

She said MAYBE the pharmacy can look up BCBS and find tht we are eligible. Karan said she has mail order forms. I cannot get my BP med by the 2nd of January thru the mail if I am eligible for the new plan on the FIRST. I cannot quit taking a blood pressure med at will because our HR dept dropped the ball.

I made an appt and went to get new scripts to accomodate the new carrier. Our current carrier allows us to purchase 90 day scripts in person at the pharmacy. The new one requires all 90 day scripts come from BCBS mail order. We found this out by accident when I asked the question in a meeting. I asked HR when we were going to be told this? When we went to the pharmacy for a refill and ins refused to authorize it and we had to do without the med?  Many of us would need new scripts.

There was still no answer by the time I left work. My BCBS premium per payroll was $42 this day last year. Next Thursday I will have $102 deducted from my pay for BCBS but I can't use their services until I get a new group ID card, my current one won't work after tomorrow night at midnight.
 
I told her I would PAY for the script and bring the bill to the agency.  I need my ins to be usable on Jan 1. When I had a 90 day script filled on 10/2/09 I had no knowledge that I would not be able to buy meds in Jan. Told her I am not going to be forced to use BC/BS mail order service.  Let's hope none of our employees or their families get sick the first couple weeks of Jan.

[Ray Nolan]

I also cherish the memories and the feelings of Christmas's past...now, I have to look in the eyes of a small child to find it again... Children now...lose the innocence and wonder at a very early age...too much exposure to TV and commercialized sales that start waaaaay before the season. It's so overdone that the excitement dims as the months go by...

I am beginning to "let go" of the past...because if I don't...I'll have problems making a new future for myself. I'm giving away parts of the past and dealing with all of the emotions connected to them. I know I will probably spend what years I have left, basically, alone. My kids have their own lives and their own families and although I understand that I am a part of that...I don't want to be the fifth wheel. So, in dealing with all of the death that I have in the past few years...I think it has helped me deal with my Life.
Does this make sense to anyone but me???

Yes Pat! It makes perfect sense. 

[joni]

 I too am dealing with life and it's changes. I have always had the holiday gatherings at my home, even after my husband passed. This year the family said they all wanted to spend both holidays in their homes.We did get together in the afternoon for Christmas, but it was different. I will accept this graciuosly . As long as the love is still there, that is the important thing.

[Pat Testa]

joni...I think we all will learn to deal with the changes in life...it is inevitable...nothing stays the same...except for the love of family. You are so right that it is the important thing.

[Pat Testa]

Once again...in dealing with Life...death has reared it's inevitable presence...a person who once was basically, a part of our family...took her own life last Wednesday. After distancing herself from our lives, I had lost track of her...but often wondered if she was well and happy. It had been nearly 10 years since she had any contact with the family, so I have no idea what made her decide that life was just not worth living. She will remain in my thoughts as the fun person that I knew and loved back then. I hope her family can find some peace in knowing that whatever drove her to her decision...is finally and forever over...Rest In Peace Kathy.....