Pat's Birthday Blog

[Pat Testa]

I decided this would be the best place to put this. It doesn't really require a reply.

Today is my sixty seventh birthday and I had a really strange dream or actually thoughts running through my mind last night...
I woke up once and looked at the clock in the dark and thought it said 3:00, but when I turned the flashlight on...it was 12:15. I kept thinking about what was going through Mom's mind when she was giving birth to me.  GA was only 13 months old and here I came...I tried to go back to sleep...but thoughts kept racing through my mind.  Sometimes I wish there was an "OFF" switch for times like these. Sixty seven years is a lot of ground to cover in one night.
Then, I heard a distant train whistle that kept getting closer and closer. A lump had formed in my throat and kept me from swallowing...so the fluid had to drain through my eyes in the form of tears.  I have always pictured my last moments on earth as waiting at the station for the train to my final destination.  When the train finally pulls up...there is my Cyndi, Mom, Dad, Grandma...everyone I have ever loved and who has gone before me, is on this train.  Here...on this train, we travel to places that no one has ever been able to describe.  Places that only can be visited in your imagination.  Sixty seven years began to feel very young...for with MY imagination, I will live on...long after my earthly body has given up and turned to dust.

[Oliver]

1st of all, happy current birthday, a little late!

In the DHS Maroon and White paper for March 1, '57 (50 cool years ago) there is the following question: "How would you spend a perfect evening with Pat Boone?"

Of the 9 responses from the girls, the most pragmatic answer was the following: "Sounds good but he's married."

This was from a young girl named Pat Starkey--

[Tuck]

1st of all, happy current birthday, a little late!

In the DHS Maroon and White paper for March 1, '57 (50 cool years ago) there is the following question: "How would you spend a perfect evening with Pat Boone?"

Of the 9 responses from the girls, the most pragmatic answer was the following: "Sounds good but he's married."

This was from a young girl named Pat Starkey--

Smart gal then, smart gal now...

[Pat Testa]

Okay...it is not my birthday yet...but it is MY Blog. I don't know what happened to 2008...but in 2009, I will be 70 years young.

Just reading GA's blog...I find that we have a lot of things in common with the lives we are leading. I also have a husband with health problems that render him incapable of a sensible reply to a simple question. Most of his problems are due to the fact that he has little or no contact with other humans. He prefers the company of the imaginary TV performers. The only people he sees on a regular basis are the doctors and technicians at the oncology center. I have to MAKE him go with me when I go shopping and lately have found that if he doesn't want to go...it's best to leave him at home because he will make the event very uncomfortable for me. I know that he is the way he is because of his condition...but I can't do anything about that...so, I do the best I can and make as many friends as I can...because I'm gonna need them...

So, life doesn't always turn out like you expected it to...but maybe our expectations are too high??

Anyway...thanks Tuck and Oliver...see you on Feb. 24th, 2009 for the BIG 70!!!

[Bingo]

We will all be here to celebrate it with you!!!

[Oliver]

Well, Pat, I'm with you. I don't know where this fateful year of two-thousand and eight has gone skipping by to.

Strangely, I feel like I've just been given a birthday gift via an email from TechGuy. I will in turn share it with you. Now first of all, I realize this is more our parents music (though I actually now a lot on this long list but an awful lot I've never heard) but I think it's cool to hear the old scratchy sound of the song I played. Takes me back to before I was born! Secondly, for me with dial-up, it's a long road to hoe, about 13 min. for a 3.5 min. song, but it was worth it for "All This And Heaven Too" with a Frank Sinatra you'd never have known it was him!!

So, a pre-Happy Birthday, Pat. (This reminds me when my kids were really young, my mother would have a monthly "birthday" for them, like when the youngest was 1 mo., middle was 21 mo. and eldest was 41 mo. and they say they remember that, except for the youngest.) Anyway, Feb. will be here before you know it!

(Of course it dawns on me you may have found this link already. In that case, I'll try to find one with music like "Lady of Spain" played by 1000 accordians at the same time!)

http://78records.cdbpdx.com:80/

[Pat Testa]

Thank you Oliver...as soon as I get a tech to help me with my new computer and figure out why my sound doesn't work...I will listen and I'm sure I'll like the music. It is so frustrating when Veda sends me something that I know MUST be beautiful and it has sound or video (which I can't access either). Gosh, I'm living in the dark ages. I do, however, have a few 78rpm records and a record player that I can play them on...and a whole bunch of 45's that I play when I'm just so down that I need a musical pick-me-up. Music has a way of taking you back in your mind to a time less stressful. I have music from the Big Band era that I can play and just brings back memories of my Mom...standing at the ironing board or the wash tub...singing those old songs that were popular during WWII.

Bill was asking me a little while ago what the heck a "Blog" was and the only way I could make him understand was to tell him that it was sort of like a journal of your feelings in a place where people who "cared" could respond...or a place to VENT. He can't even send emails and can't comprehend the simplest computer tasks. I don't think he even wants to...and that's okay.

Bingo...I'm actually looking forward to turning that page in my life (or should I say Chapter)...and turning 70. I'm hoping I can do it justice. There is a big responsibility to being older than the very dirt that your house is built on and most of the people you know...and I think I deserve a party...you are all invited

[Bingo]

Pat, humor me please. This is probably something you have done already but it is worth a try anyway. On the lower right hand side of your screen there will be a lot of symbols. Is there one that looks like a horn? Or a megaphone? If so, left click on that and if it is your sound, you can click on the little bar in the middle and 'drag' that to raise the volume. Not knowing what kind of computer you have it might not work at all. The one I am using now operates sound from the control panel and speaker knobs. But my newer laptop controls sound with the little horn symbol on the lower right front of the screen.

Have a great day.

[Pat Testa]

Bingo...thank you for the information. There is a little volumn control box on the bar on the bottom of my screen to the right, but I have tried it before and have it all the way up...but...nothing. I appreciate any help that anyone gives me...I am not a computer person, but can usually figure things out with a little help.

When we got the new battery in the car, I figured out how to get all my displays back to English...it was reading things out in kilometers and celcius. I don't know if changing the battery had anything to do with the mpg...but we are getting 20 miles to the gallon now instead if 17.4 (and I was happy with that because when we got the car, it was getting only 16.9) I drive 55 and that's fast enough. I read in the paper where the powers that be, are thinking of switching from 60mph to 55 anyway...so, I'm ahead of the game. Heck, most people fly by me going at least 70 (unless a cop is nearby...then...you see all the brake lights going on...and ME...smiling)

[Oliver]

Well, all I know about the sound is to be sure the "mute" box is not clicked. If it's a sound card problem the only thing to do is call in a young person. My 19 yr. old bails me out.

If you're talking about 55 on an interstate, you're a brave soul! I'd be white-knuckled watching the rear traffic barreling in on me....I'd take a 2-lane, which also isn't heaven either if someone impatient gets stuck behind and decides to chance it to pass!

Kudos for setting anything on cars these days. Why, some of the procedures to simply set a clock are beyond belief to me, esp. since I usually never have a book to refer to the 2 times a yr. the car clocks need changing. 

[Pat Testa]

Oliver...I have driven the streets of this city for quite a while now. I have seen how people zip in and out of lanes and run up on the people who are driving slower than they are. I just refuse to be intimidated by the rudeness of people who don't allow themselves enough time to get to their destination on time without driving like maniacs. I NEVER make eye contact with other drivers and I try not to get upset by the idiot drivers who think they own the road. I just silently pray that there is a cop around the corner and he pulls them over...

I have enough stress in my life right now without taking on other people's baggage. I have been trying to find a way to get the drug that Bill needs to stop the progression of the cancer that has found another inlet into his system. I tried to get in touch with the manufacturer, but their 800# informed me that they only answer from 8:30 to 5 on weekdays. I did get a call from our Kroger Pharmacy and they don't have access to the drug...our insurance pharmacy doesn't handle the drug...thus...my stress   I am certain that the unavailability of this drug means that it will be even MORE expensive than the previous inhibitor drug that he has formed an immunity to. It just seems like we are spending every cent we have to keep him alive and he will eventually die anyway because this cancer is very aggressive. I can't tell him what to do because if he wants to live...we are going to continue to do what we have done all along.

If it was me who was incapacitated, couldn't do anything without gasping for breath, was only able to sit in a lift chair and watch TV, had all the side affects that come with the drugs that have to be taken to just live...have scans done every couple of months, radiation to kill the cancer when it gets too aggressive, couldn't drive, couldn't go to the mall without someone to push my wheelchair...well, I think you get where I'm going with this...but we are all different and he seems perfectly happy to do nothing...so, (I know he isn't happy...but he has accepted the way it is)...not sure I could... Maybe he is stronger than I am or just doesn't expect as much out of life as I do. I love doing things and interacting with other people and being busy and healthy and living life to the fullest...so, here I am blogging...

[Pat Testa]

We have had some much needed rain and I slept in this morning (until 8AM)...Bill was still asleep and the house was very quiet. As I stood in my bathroom contemplating the day ahead...the clock on my wall was ticking and sounded so loud. My mind started reeling and I had to go get a pen and paper...I am one of those people who likes to jot down thoughts before they get away. In just a few minutes, this is what I had written:

The clock on the wall keeps ticking away the minutes of my life.
Gone forever...you can't get them back.
If you don't live those minutes, you've lost your chance.
You live this life but once and then it's gone.
Don't waste the time you've been given...Live every second, every minute, every hour...
And when the time comes for your life to end...
The minutes spent wisely, will live on in the minds and hearts of those whose lives you touched.

[Guardian Angel]

I have those moments too.  They usually come in the middle of the night when I can't sleep, however, I never get up and write things down so they are lost forever.....Guess I'll keep a paper and pen beside the bed........

[Pat Testa]

That's a good idea...so many of the thoughts I had when Cyndi died, came in the middle of the night and I did get up and write them down.  There was one time that I wrote something down because it was as if someone else was channeling it to me...as if they weren't MY thoughts. Does that make any sense?

[Oliver]

Yes. There is more here than meets the eye.