Technical Difficulties of the Body

[Pretender]

I'm not posting much and may not for some time if ever. My body is like htting the 

Got nothing to do with anyone here on the board.

bob

[Guardian Angel]

Sorry your having problems, but know that you're on my prayer list.  Hope you get to feeling better soon.

[Butterfly]

I also hope you get to feeling better Bob.  I really hate that we're all so far away and there's nothing we can do to help.  

[Guardian Angel]

I am a day late, but I would also like to thank you for serving your country......

[Bingo]

Bob I don't know if you are reading the messages, but have you been back to the VA? I was wondering if there is something they can do to help you. Bio feedback, self hypnotism, other things besides pain meds, although a few days of relief would be welcome I am sure.

Hang in there and keep in touch with us. We miss hearing from you.

[Pretender]

Bob I don't know if you are reading the messages, but have you been back to the VA? I was wondering if there is something they can do to help you. Bio feedback, self hypnotism, other things besides pain meds, although a few days of relief would be welcome I am sure.

Hang in there and keep in touch with us. We miss hearing from you.

Been going to VA. Accupuncture, adjustments, trigger points, deep massage. Was made aware of a good product called Biofreeze. Can't get enough of it lol.

[Pat Testa]

Bob...
You are in my thoughts...
Hang in there and hopefully things will get better.

[Pretender]

My mindset towards situation is fine right now. I'm having a hard time dealing with my belly aching on the forums. I can't hardly handle the shi_ I'm typing. Sort of sick of myself ya know, but I am okay.

[Veda]

Pretender . . . . letting out frustrations and feelings is OK here.
Don't you know, that's why we're all here. 

You can express your pain or what ever comes to mind . . . and we are here to listen, or read.  Let us be your support group. It might help, even just a little.

My daughter has fibromyalgia, sometimes she just calls to let it all out, I listen . . . even if it's for two hours, but I know in the long run she feels just a little bit better (maybe only for a little while) but it does help.

Please don't ever think that we won't have a kind ear, we aren't made that way.  You're cared about and in our prays.

May you keep posting . . .and know that, when you posted, that you're sort of sick of yourself . . . we NEVER will be.  We're here and we're not going away as long as pesoto74 keeps us up and running.
 

[Guardian Angel]

Veda's right Pretender.  It's perfectly OK to belly ache here.  We're all good listeners.....

[Butterfly]

 Pain is important;
 how we evade it, how we sucumb to it,
 how we deal with it, how we transcend it.

 Audre Lorde

[Butterfly]

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide,
let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should
seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not
your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let
there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart
finds its morning and is refreshed.

Kahlil Gibran

[Guardian Angel]

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person 40 years of age and over cannot do IT.


1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is person cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.


Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and
I betcha' can't resist passing it on.

[Guardian Angel]

I thought this was a good place to put this.....


Stress Management

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "how heavy is this glass of water? " Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied "The absolute weight doesn't matter.  It depends on how long you try to hold it. "If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.  If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. "

He continued,
 
 "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.  When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "  "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.  Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.  Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. " "Relax; pick them up later after you've rested.

Life is short. Enjoy it!

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

* Never buy a car you can't push.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*  A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

[Guardian Angel]

 I love this Doctor ! (I have been doing everything wrong!!!)
 
Q:I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?   
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. 

 
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
   
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! 
   
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
   
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
   
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
   
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
 
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
   
 Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
 A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
 
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! 

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
 
 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
 
 
AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.